3. They cry if you say “No”
You see, that right there would disqualify me. I can't handle some kid crying because I would probably fold like a cheap suit. Anyways, go read the rest of the list.
3. They cry if you say “No”
9s come across as patient people who are good listeners, adaptable and accommodating to others. 9s have an unusual ability to "go with the flow" of their surroundings, and a desire to be connected with their surroundings. This ability is both their biggest strength and weakness; at best, 9s are very accepting and supportive of others as they really are, but at worst 9s forget who they themselves are, passively agreeing with others and afraid to assert their own desires. 9s learning the Enneagram may take a long time to figure out their type because they identify more with others than with their own true selves.
The passivity of average 9s can make it hard for them to assert their needs or make decisions. 9s can have a particularly hard time making painful decisions, like firing someone, because they also see the other person's predicament, and hate to force confrontations. Average 9s may distract themselves from tough problems with soothing but trivial tasks (e.g. web-surfing, aimless chatter). 9s with an 8 wing are less likely to have this problem because the 8 wing has a lust for action and challenge, while 9s with a 1 wing are more likely to become creatures of habit, because of the 1's compulsive qualities. Inertia is in fact a chronic problem for 9s, who often find it hard to get started on things. However, this inertia can also work to their advantage, because once started 9s can make slow-but-steady progress, becoming surprisingly relentless in their pursuits. The old Aesop's fable about the slow-and-steady tortoise who beats the faster rabbit aptly describes the work habits of healthy 9s.
Being admired is very important to 3s - they are competitive, and place great value on winning and looking good while doing it. Publicly, 3s project high self-esteem, driving relentlessly toward their career and life goals. But the average 3's craving for external approval may degenerate into superficial and image-conscious behavior, as they work hard to look impressive while neglecting genuine achievement. Despite the high self-esteem they project to others, 3s may privately feel insecure about their self-worth, being as it is so dependent on what others say about them. 3s have an unusually strong inner contradiction; they project qualities of leaders: drive, energy, and success, and yet their definition of success is unusually dependent on the values of the society they belong to. Hence, they are simultaneously leaders and followers.I am not sure about the need to be admired part. There are days when I wish I could be unknown. However, that aside, this is pretty close. Publicly, I do project the high self-esteem and relentless drive. I do project leadership, and in fact, I have some very good leadership qualities, but I think my accomodating nature means that at times I will go with the flow rather than take charge. This is probably why I always say no one will put me in charge of anything. Not because I think I am incapable of being in an administrative position, but more because I would have to make the painful decisions (see above), and I would not like being hated a lot when I make the unpopular decisions. It's not so much being hated as having to worry about rebellions from below (very machiavellian if you ask me). The "cool" attitude thing is pretty accurate, though it is something I feel comes reluctantly. I don't look for it; it just happens. The most accurate of this definition is the part about an introverted type 3. I strut my stuff through competence and skillful performance. In other words, I let my actions speak for themselves.
Healthy 3s often have a "cool" attitude to go along with their accomplishments - they know what is "hot" and what is not, and for better or worse, this contributes to the 3's reputation for being excellent salesmen who can win over the most reluctant audience. Because they place high value on affirmation from others, they may be very adept at reading subtle cues in others, using this information to quickly tailor their message to their audience. However, unhealthy 3s are notorious for being phony and self-promoting. Extroverted 3s can be charming smooth talkers, using their networking skills to augment their image and their career, which may be closely linked. More introverted threes may instead strut their stuff through competence and skillful performance rather than showmanship.
Reformers. The underlying motivation of the 1 is to be RIGHT, and to avoid being WRONG. Reformers are the most compulsively rational of the types, and the perfectionist is another name for this type. Average 1s are driven by their "inner critic", an inner set of standards that tends to be quite rigorous, and independent of what other people tell them. Hence, the average 1 is very self-critical, and also critical of others when they expect the same high standards of others that they have imposed on themselves. Ones get much of their energy from anger, and at best, this energy is channeled into discipline, organization, a strong work ethic and a love of fairness, justice, and truth. At worst, they become rigid in their thinking, psychologically trapped by their own rules and principles and becoming self-righteous in a way that, although logically correct, is not helpful to themselves or others.I think this, and the next type, are illustrations of how a person can embody many different attributes. While accomodating, I can also be very perfectionist with my work, and my inner critic is ruthless (can we say "seriously lacking compassion at times?"). The line of being very critical of others because I expect of them the high standards I have of myself fits me like a glove. While I can be accepting of others, I am also someone who tries not to depend on others, and I would rather do things myself. To a large measure this is because I ask myself, "why would I depend on someone else when I know I can do it better myself?" A bit arrogant maybe, but experience has often proved me right. So, how could this translate? Well, put me in a group project, and I will likely go along (accomodate), but I certainly won't like it. I don't get angry often, but when I do it can be explosive, a lot of energy. I can make a nuclear bomb look like a firecracker, but since I tend to internalize, you really get a really long fuse before I get angry with anyone. Internally, I can let anger drive me to get things done. I would fall on the positive in the sense that I have a very strong work ethic, which I expect of others as well, and it really ticks me off when they don't. The negative is not really me. I am not terribly rigid in the sense that I am very easy about euthanizing an idea if it needs it. Now, if we could just euthanize some of those people with a low or nonexistent work ethic while we are it (you see what I mean?). However, after being ticked off, I usually just accept it and get whatever needs doing done. I very much into fairness and social justice, but interestingly enough, I don't speak much of these things. I leave my politics close. Sure, you can probably guess where I stand, but I am not confirming or denying.
1s like to confront problems head-on, but this proactive energy may not always be immediately apparent to others. Introverted 1s may be extremely prim and proper, even rigid, because they turn their energies inward against their own impulses and spontaneity. However, other 1s can project considerable energy, even becoming abrasive, if their passions turn toward ideals, such as social justice, that involve the world as a whole.
Helpers focus their lives on giving and receiving love. This personality is one of the most emotionally expressive, and one of the most focused on human relationships. At their best, healthy 2s bring a special interpersonal touch to almost everything they do, empowering others with their unrivaled desire to make others feel special, important, and loved for simply being themselves. It is uncommon (though not impossible) to find a 2 in high-profile leadership positions, or in a job that emphasizes analysis at the expense of human interaction.
Highly nurturing at their best, less healthy 2s show a darker side of their personality. When unhealthy 2s help others, it is merely to make themselves feel more important. They may offer "help" that seems intrusive and manipulative to others, or may do a "favor", only to subsequently ask repayment. Average twos are often attracted toward two seemingly opposite kinds of people: toward people with power, whose agenda they can support, and towards the needy and the outcast, who most urgently need the 2's caring spirit.
More than any other type, 4s seek to understand themselves. They may probe their own emotions to an unusual depth, seeking authenticity of feeling and self-expression. They don't settle for the ordinary or shallow, and are disturbed that most everyone around them does. The importance they attach to their inner feelings makes them highly individualistic and original. 4s are unusually self-aware, sensitive, and intuitive, sometimes painfully so, and often with an intense interest in emotional and spiritual growth. Because of this emotional awareness, fours can show kindness at a very deep level (especially to those in crisis), but also know how to rile people up.Actually, this goes along nicely with having some of the Type 3 and being critical of others for not measuring up to my standards. I don't settle for ordinary or shallow, and it does disturb me that people often do. This also goes well with the sense of kindness. As for my need for self expression, I keep it in my writing, which is something I enjoy very much for experimenting as well as sorting out things. The body art, I think I will leave that to others.
The 4's inward focus gives them an intense need for authentic personal self-expression. This may include conventional art-forms such as writing, and music, or unconventional forms such as tattoos and body piercing. The 4 has a romantic streak, and their relationships often occur at unusually high intensity. At best, this can be deeply transformative to both persons. At worst, this intensity may cause a trail of broken relationships, as the 4 continually seeks the intensity of new romances.
The 4's search for authenticity makes many 4s refreshingly candid, sometimes with a sense of drama and a sharp wit. However, they also have a self-indulgent streak. This self-indulgence typically turns inward, and away from practical reality, which may gets them into trouble with money, health, or other real-world issues. At worst, this may induce despair and brooding, accentuating the original problems and leading into a downward spiral that can be extremely dramatic.
Number of Valentine’s Day cards exchanged annually, making Valentine’s Day the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion. (This total excludes packaged kids valentines for classroom exchanges.) (Source: Hallmark research)
Nearly 50 percent
Typically, the proportion of all Valentine’s Day cards purchased in the six days prior to the observance, making Valentine’s Day a procrastinator’s delight. (Source: Hallmark research)
5. The big gesture is not what demonstrates true love. True love is getting up early to make his coffee, or letting her lay with her head on your shoulder, even if your arm does fall asleep. It's my grandfather warming the sheets on my grandmother's side of the bed every winter night for sixty-seven years so that she never had to climb into a cold bed. That is true love, and it should be every day, not once a year. – Michelle Wallace, Refugio, Texas
I don't buy into this notion that religion is automatically deserving of "respect". We've been hearing that word a lot lately. The other people who use the word "respect" a lot (or, more likely, "disrespect" -- as a verb...) are those thugs who make Toronto's streets so unsafe for decent people. When thugs, be they gangstas or Mafia types or Islamic crazies or other macho bores, complain that we are not showing them adequate "respect", what they really mean is that we are not showing them adequate FEAR.I could not agree more. Respect, in my book at least, is something you earn, not something you are automatically entitled to. I am happy to show people respect, but to the extent they reciprocate. You behave like a barbarian, I am just leaving you be. And I can't shake the feeling that a lot of these Muslims out there rioting and basically giving a bad name to their religion are no farther away than street thugs who don't really want respect, they want people to fear them. Well, I for one, refuse to show bullies fear. Most of the civilized world values freedom of expression and freedom of the press. In her post, Kathy, the relapsed catholic, also writes,
Not all belief systems are worthy of respect. If your beliefs can't stand scrutiny or mockery, perhaps you beliefs are stupid, no? I am a Catholic, not a Muslim; I am under no obligation to observe their strictures about "blasphemy" -- we're not living under sharia law. Yet.
Of course, I'd have less to criticize [referring to criticizing Muslims] if a) they stopped killing people and b) moderate Muslims would do their job and tell their co-religionists to chill. I'm beginning to think that moderate Muslims are an urban legend, like the crocodiles in the sewers of New York.And this is what really bothers me. That we hear about how all these moderates are out there, and how they supposedly condemn the hijacking of their religion. However, you never actually hear anything of substance done, and you sure as heck don't see them rising up in arms to tell their more radical brethren to shut the hell up. And as an aside, yes, I am aware that there are various socioeconomic issues at play when it comes to immigrants in Europe, but that does not create an excuse for certain people to behave like hordes of barbarians. However, this is not just Islam's followers. Christians have a record of their own when it comes to letting the radicals hijack their religion and then sitting idly by. I personally am starting to think that moderate Christians are another urban legend as well. Every time Pat Robertson calls for someone's assassination or Jerry Falwell does his latest pronouncement, you don't hear too many so-called moderates condemn them. You may hear secularists condemn them, but members of their own religion, rarely if ever. Why? Because in every case, Islam or Christian, they really have a sympathy for whatever it was those radicals said. They just do not have the spine to actually say they support it for fear of being labeled politically incorrect. Well, I am going out on a limb here and saying that these people should be denounced. Radicals who claim that we should all be goose stepping to their repressive visions need to be ridiculed, denounced, defied, and countered by whatever means, other than violence. Using violence will not only engender more violence, it will also make us stoop to their level, and we are better than that. And I will go on a further limb, and I will say that if you are a moderate, or claim to be one, and you stay quiet, you are enabling the problem. You need to be denounced, ridiculed, defied and countered as well for allowing your brethren to do horrible things in your name.
I had this idea the other day, that it would be cool (according to my rather specialized definition of "cool") to have a blog whose entries would be composed only while the blogger was sitting on the toilet.
The entry topics wouldn't have to be about what toilet-related activities the blogger was engaged in, but would instead just convey the stream of consciousness one experiences in those few (or long) moments one spends blankly staring at the wall opposite. Some entries would be enticingly brief. Others, tragically long.
"The research project, which also involved academics from the University of Massachusetts and McMaster University, Ontario, showed that while men were not so interested in "humour-producing women" in long-term relationships, they showed a preference for such types when it came to short-term relationships and one-night stands."Well, no one asked me. I like to laugh, so if a woman can make me laugh, more power to her. If she can make me laugh and have fun while in bed, hey, it sounds great. I guess the only thing may be if she points at a certain place and laughs or cracks jokes. Then again, that would turn anyone off. However, I think her laughing over that would open the door for me to point at certain places for her and make jokes too. Maybe in the end we would both laugh, and that would be a good thing. Less tension, then more relaxed, you get the idea. Then again, no one asked me.
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues